In the morning, the day already felt heavy. I woke up at 6am and prepared gouqizi, lavender tea and my medicine from the doctor. The cordyceps finished already so I prepared chicken essence to put inside the drawer. I was still angry from earlier incidents and honestly a bit afraid of myself when I become too angry. I prepared my clothes for Wednesday and tried to settle myself before going out with my mother for hair treatment.
My mother kept telling me what to do in the morning and saying we were late. I brushed my teeth, bathed and ate marble cake and banana for breakfast. We took bus 28 and MRT out. On the train, there were many flu sounds and movements around me. I changed seats because I felt uncomfortable.
When I wanted to alight, I heard two guys talking nearby and felt overwhelmed. I accidentally pushed a lady while walking out. Afterwards, we went to take bus 24. The buses felt noisy and I kept hearing laughter while already feeling bitter inside.
At the hair treatment place, things became worse. The staff kept touching me without permission while asking about scalp cleansing and treatment. One stepped on my slippers and another touched me again. I finally said, “Don’t touch.” After that, there was laughter and comments about my emotions. My mother explained that I had “一点情绪.”
The environment became very difficult for me. Towels were placed on me roughly, the water felt too cold, the splashes dirtied my shirt and legs, and I had to wait very long while hearing people talking and laughing around me. My tone became aggressive because I already felt pushed to my limit.
After lunch and green tea with my mother, I continued the day by going to the phone shop. I waited a few hours for the transfer and trade-in. At one point, my belongings poured out from my bag and I accidentally triggered the alarm at the shop. I felt embarrassed and overwhelmed again. The rain, noise and crowds made me exhausted.
Eventually, I completed everything and decided to take a taxi home because I was too tired to continue travelling outside. Today felt like a very long day of noise, touching, laughter, waiting and trying to hold myself together in public. Still, I completed the treatment, settled my phone matters and made it through the day.